Confidence Isn’t the Starting Line—It’s the Result of Showing Up

By Alejandra Gonzalez

Have you ever told yourself, “I just need to be more confident”?

I hear it often—from riders of all backgrounds.

We tend to think confidence is something we should already have.

But what I’ve learned, both in the saddle and through years of teaching, is this:

Confidence without experience is not confidence. It’s arrogance.

True confidence is built. Through repetition, through feedback, through presence.

And in order to build experience, we need something many riders don’t give themselves enough of:

The ability to mess things up.

Confidence Is Grown, Not Granted

Confidence isn’t a personality trait you either have or don’t. It’s a process.

We understand this with young horses—they don’t come into the world confident. We support them, guide them, offer consistent experiences, and slowly their confidence grows.

Riders are no different.

Every time you ride a new horse, try a new skill, or ask more of yourself in a lesson, you are walking into the unknown. That doesn’t require certainty. It requires courage.

And courage doesn’t mean getting everything right—it means showing up willing to learn.

You Need the Freedom to Mess Up

Progress doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from exploration.

If you feel like every ride has to go well, or that mistakes are a sign of failure, you will limit your growth.

But when you treat each ride as a conversation—one where you’re allowed to ask questions, adjust, and get feedback—you give yourself and your horse the gift of learning.

Some of the most meaningful insights I’ve gained came after making the wrong call. I’ve misunderstood horses. I’ve lost balance. I’ve taken a wrong approach.

But those moments were never wasted. They gave me the experience I needed to move forward with more awareness and feel.

Presence Creates Real Confidence

We often think confidence means being bold, certain, or unshakable.

But in my experience, the most confident riders aren’t loud. They’re present.

When you are in your body, aware of your breath, your seat, and the conversation with your horse, you aren’t guessing. You’re feeling.

That feeling brings clarity. And clarity brings confidence.

This is why I place so much emphasis on body awareness, breath, and rider biomechanics.

Because the more you understand yourself, the more clearly you can communicate with your horse—and the more secure you feel in your decisions.

Experience → Mistakes → Learning → Confidence

It’s not about getting it right the first time.

It’s about learning how to get back in the saddle again and again—with a little more softness, a little more skill, and a little more trust.

You can’t shortcut this process. But you can support it by giving yourself grace and time.

So if you’re feeling stuck, remember this:

You’re not behind. You’re learning. And that means you’re exactly where you need to be

You don’t need to wait until you feel confident to begin.

You only need to be present, curious, and willing to try.

Confidence will come.

Not as a feeling you force, but as a byproduct of all the moments you showed up with honesty and heart.

Ale